Signal boosting: Marriage is a stage

06/22/2012

I just wanna put some sparkle fingers up in here:

I find nothing inherently romantic about marriage. I see marriage (and really any sort of commitment stated formally or otherwise) as a container for romance and companionship. It sets the stage for love & companionship to happen. It is scaffolding for repeated and sustainable feelings and acts of love and care. Marriage is not love. Just as a stage is not a play. Historically love and marriage were combined in cultural narratives (fairytales) to sugarcoat the financial, status-driven approach to marriage which was the norm in so many cultures worldwide.
The conflation of love and marriage old and broken. It uses the individually defined (and socially undefined) mantle of “love” to mask the very real legal and societal benefits being married affords certain citizens.

from here, emphasis mine.

Here are some of my thoughts about marriage. Oh yes, but can I clarify, cos I detest poly-evangelists about as much as I do evangelical christian fundamentalists–I do not believe that non-monogamy or polyamory are the end-all be-all of romantic/sexual relationships, and I utterly respect folks’ choices to be monogs, and still believe their relationships to be rad/radical–and theirs, to do with what they please. Respecting one another’s agency is the best!

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One Response to “Signal boosting: Marriage is a stage”

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