Discovering the method of injury is half the battle.

02/21/2012

11/20/2011

I dreamt about you, two head wound patients. One loud and bleeding copiously from the scalp, the other quiet and going ashen fast, all the classic symptoms of shock. At first I tried to medic you both, but just as I was waking from the dream I put the loud patient aside and just took stock off the quiet patient, who was (best as I can tell) getting close to the point of no return, the big black, if they didn’t get help soon. Was ready to call EMS (would you have let me? I would have been your advocate but I didn’t know you well enough to be a good one) but woke up first.

Woke next to P’s almost-familiar body, face feeling puffy and swollen shut from exhaustion. We put in around 60 miles yesterday, many after night had already fallen, struggling up endless unfamiliar hills in the deep darkness, elbows against the handlebars as P steers, captain of the tandem if not the mountain. Pressure on the nerves and tendons burns, this bike is not set up for me and I hurt in not-right ways, worry I will freeze but somehow pedaling and adequate hydration keep my body clear of hypothermia despite the fact that I have forgotten my sweater and feel unprepared for November.

This just progresses: the more I medic the more I want more training, the more I want everyone around me to have some training (seriously, shouldn’t you know some basic home remedies for food poisoning and wound care and when to seek higher care?), and the more I hate the cops, the more I just want everyone to have healthcare, allthefuckingtime and no, that doesn’t sound so unreasonable, no.

Late night I am at a bar that I can’t afford to drink at, my friend K has brought us here after giving us tickets to a show that I couldn’t have afforded, either. ___ tells me, I don’t know I’m 28 I figure I should start doing something about my teeth, and I relate my recent misadventures in catching up on all the dental work I couldn’t afford/was too terrified to get, shit’s expensive.

***

Focus. Let your pupils dilate, take in the whole picture, tick off potential points of danger, glove up, pay extra attention to the quiet ones. Count off your scene survey. Look out for yourself first (one, look out for number one!) Determine MOI* as soon as possible so you can avoid being trampled by the same forces (two, what happened to you?) Set adequate boundaries, their problems are not your problems (three, don’t get any on me!) Remember that the most visible conflict may not be the most vital one (four, are there any more?).

I want to do this better, not just in medicking, but also in life. I want to mentally fill out my scene survey to better know my risks before I undertake the endeavor (relationship, project, protest, etc).

Everything seems to be directing me to slow down, from the setting in of the Holiday Melancholy to my back/shoulder shit flaring up again.

10 deep breaths, 10 steps back, and onward.

*MOI=Method of Injury. The paper that left the papercut, the police baton that concussed the head, etc.

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