09/25/2011

knitting while watching movies with the subtitles on or reading books is one of my favorite introversions.

recently was watching this and one of the characters said something to the effect that romance was the feeling of immense shared possibility. the time before that first kiss, the space of time before your first child is born, so on. and that when romance dies, it is because you feel you have exhausted all possibilities with that person. an interesting take, and one i can relate to.

me? i am immensely romantic. i am constantly dreaming of new ways, new plots, making new plans and new friends. (tho i have stopped making so much room for new friends lately and have just wanted to deepen my current friendquaintances into real tried’n’true friends)

last night, the party. i dressed in drag (because i can, dammit!) and there were some crushes.

several flirtations that have been so stretched out (but not yet wrung out) bloomed makeouts.

holy bejeezus, dance makeouts in the rain! and that crisp moment of honesty around the fire, too, inhaling the now-familiar scent of someone i’ve been flirting/making out with/riding bikes with occasionally since…it feels like a long time now. the flirtations feel stretched out, but not wrung out.

good things, these. they feel like possibilities.

and other things are starting to swell up (in good ways) with possibility, too. a kindling of a long-term friendship/makeoutship into a more formal BDSM relationship. i’m excited to see what our play will be like, altho uncertain. i am often wary of formality.

i feel full of imminent possibility. especially once this !@$#ing hole in my mouth stops hurting and i can sleep through the night again. but the exercise of taking such intentional care of myself has been utterly worthwhile. and of course: catching up on my dental health. what a weird thing to be pleased about.

collective stuff seemingly maybe-maybe picking up, hopefully. i love that work so much–had started to become dissolutioned but then i noticed myself babbling cheerfully to someone about it at breakfast this morning.

joyful. a good night, a good day. yes. thank you universe, beings.

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