All mixed up


Last night at @mia:

me:   man, i am rambling. my point was! being mixed race but passing is a weird position of privilege and it has affected my analysis of cops in weird ways. like, pretty much all of my experiences with cops have been crappy, but i also am not forced to interact with them very frequently because i pass. it’s only pretty recently that i even began an active critique of the police.

rad dude/POC:   yeah, i like to summarize the process of my analysis of cops like this: 0-7 years cops are good!, 7-11 years some cops are bad, 11-21 years there are a few good cops, 21+ years ALL COPS ARE BAD.

me:   YEAH.

[conversation follows critiquing Slutwalk + discussing the yes means yes model of consent + talking about personal experiences of consent, sex, and non-consent + white privilege and queerness]

Having come from an island of liberal politicks and white privilege, it sure is interesting to be ‘waking up’. Some days I feel late to the party, others like I’m the only one here. Just depends upon the company I’m keeping that day, I guess.

Recently read a quote that was to the effect of: if you’re not uncomfortable, you’re not creating real change.

Challenging the kyriarchy, challenging ones self, challenging ones peers, and challenging society–all of these things can be incredibly lonely, uncomfortable work.

It gives me blisters, but my blisters grow to callouses and they make me strong.

But gawd. I am so glad that I can find solidarity sometimes. The late-night kitchen conversation venting about the patriarchy and notions of queer separatism, the unexpected discussion of white supremacy and consent at a community barbecue, even just the neighbor kids finally braving to survey the garden and talk to us. These moments where I can feel solidarity are like a cool glass of water, refreshment before I go back out into the world and the intense heat of its struggles.

I am trying to learn how to take risks: say hi to strangers, openly disagree, engage in political discourse even when my foundation feels shaky, apologize when I am wrong, have boundaries without becoming impenetrable, give invitations without pressure, go out alone (and sober!), be singular but not solitary, call people on their shit without feeling like it’s an imposition, seek solidarity with others without compromising my self.

I leave you with this.

Love and light,



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